Fell8 You Me

For when it’s time to celebrate,
my crotch doth fall onto the face
of Vanquished Foe: xxDeAtHsTaLkErNaTexx.
My giant scrotum will he taste.

It’s the start of a homerian epic I’m going to pen soon, “The Lament of the QQ Noob”.

If you look to the right, you’ll see an advertisement. Someone gave me money to put that there. I’m now a professional blogger.

My favorite thing: Looking at nature documentaries, and reading youtube comments about it.

RMSny: yes this is what happend to us when we eat the food the government provides for us and adds there special sauce n us dumb americans have no idea whats ReALLy in em

A86: Bat = the people, Assassin Bug = corporate America and the government

Gargantuas: third time today i jerked off to this video.

When you are running a website, you have to contend with a panopoly of miscreants. Hackers, spammers, idiots from Youtube, &c. But, one of the most well guarded secrets about the internet is that all of these seedy elements are really just one thing in disguise.

Birds.

Finches, magpies, you name it, they all have one thing in common: They hate your website, and want to see it destroyed. Also that whole feathers business.

Well, we here at d8uv industries can now proclaim ourselves as 100% bird-safe. We now have multiple power and gigabit redundancies going to our servers, deep in our chicken-wire enwrapped data center. We also have a cat.

Bottom line is, we have survived a bird attack. Let us help you in doing the same.

Hello,
Please allow me to intimate you with a business transaction that would benefit both of us. My name is Alesia Edward, I am looking for a reliable person who can assist me in the claim and transfer of 16 Million Euros. This amount was realized from over-invoiced contract amount awarded by my Ministry in 2006 to expatriate companies. The contract amount was deliberately overestimated to read more than the actual cost of the project thus leaving a surplus of 16 Million Euros. However, as a staff I cannot claim this money without a foreign partner who will act as the contract beneficiary and as such, entitled to receive the funds as payment. Please contact me through my email: alesianat2009@dontv.net so I can give you further details about this transaction. I am willing to give you 25% of the total amount after the transfer, the rest will be held and released to me. I will explain further when I hear from you.
Regards Edward

What be crackin’?
Now, usually I don’t get intimate so early on in correspondence. But, if you can promise mutual benefit, well… shucks! I’m all over it. My name is Cody Wonderbus, and I am very reliable. I’m so reliable, I’m like a Buick. I can help you claim and transfer your 16 million Euros. I also see now the wonders and benefit of governmental contracts, as you probably only baked a cake, yet it was budgeted for 17 million Euros. You slick dog, you. But, wouldn’t me working with you make me staff, and thus not able to recieve money? I mean, I’m a pretty helpful guy, but if it’s less than 2 million Euros, man, it’s not even worth my time. So please respond back, I’d love to hear more about this transaction.
With loving, Cody Wonderbus.

From David Coleman Contacting You
I am David Coleman From Harlsden, North West London , here in England. I work for Lloyds Tsb Bank London. I am writing you from my office that will be of an imense benefit to both of us. In my department,being the assistant manager (Greater London Regional Office, I discovered an abandoned sum £15 million GBP (Fifteen Million Great British Pounds) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers Late Mr thomson morrison American citizen who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 31 2000, including his wife and only daughter.
The choice of contacting you is aroused from the geograpgical nature of where you live, particularly due to the sensivity of the transaction and the confidentiality herein. Now our bank has been waiting for any of the relatives to come-up for the claim but nobody has done that. I personally has been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for 2 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin/Will Beneficiary to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at 15 Million Pounds can be paid to you.
This will be disbursed or shared in these percentages,60% to me and 40% to you. I have secured all necessary legal documents thatcan be used to back up this claim we are making. All i need is to fillin your names to the documents and legalise it in the court here to prove you as the legitimate beneficiary. All I require now is your honest Co-operation, Confidentiality and Trust to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Please,provide me the following: as we have 7 days to run it through. This is very very URGENT PLEASE.
1. Full Name
2. YourTelephone Number
3. Your Contact Address.
Having gone through a methodical search, I decided to contact you hoping that you will find this proposal interesting.
Please on your confirmation of this message and indicating your interest will furnish you with more information. Endeavor to let me know your decision rather than keep me waiting.
Regards,
Mr. David Coleman

From Cody Wonderbus Replying To David Coleman
Hello, I am Cody Wonderbus. I love benefits, no matter how immense they are! I heard about the Thomson Morrison, who was the commissioner of the Bureau of Indian Affairs during that tragic flight. I say was, but he wouldn’t do a very good job now! LOL!
Anyways, seeing as how I live in Alaska, I’m very interested in this story because I live in Anchorage, South Central Alaska. I also watch a lot of British TV, like Torchwood, and it’s sequel, Ashes to Ashes. So, naturally, I am very interested in this transaction. I also really love money.
So, I am proud to state that I, Cody Wonderbus, am the cousin of Thomson Morrison. Which would definitetly make me the next of kin. You can end your search now! Really! Please end your search!
I will now give you my information, so that you can give me the money that I’m guessing is taking a lot of space in your fine bank.
1. Cody Wonderbus
2. 9073371012
3. 5430 E Northern Lights Blvd
I hope I have given you this information in time. I want to build a memorial for my brother’s memory. May god bless Jim and his daughter.
I do have one question, how much is 15 million Great British Pounds in American Dollars? Is this different than just normal british pounds?
With loving,
Cody Wonderbus

Dear Friend,
My name is Mr.Shin Yuu a contractor from JAPAN .I am interested to invest in your country through you, the Sum of sixteen Million five Hundred Thousand US Dollars which I would like to invest in your country if possible.
I made this money through a contract awarded to me in OSAKA by the ministry during the relocation of OSAKA AIRPORT and I am not safe if I go back to Japan because I did not finish the contract, I hope you can understand my situation and assist me to invest this money properly as this is my only hope.
Please kindly get back to me as soon as possible.
Best regards,
Mr.Shin Yuu

Dear comrade,
I am a student who lives in ANCHORAGE ALASKA, with my two terriers Ralph and Mouth. I’ve been to the airport many a times. It is scary! The giant monsters make a terrible noise, and then violate the laws of physics. I hate the cinnabon. But, I do love money, and I have a small business making animated music videos on the internet. Let me tell you, that does not make a lot of money! Lol. I do have some plans as to how to expand my channel into something wonderful. No pun intended. So please contact me as soon as you can here in ALASKA so we can get this going!
With loving, Cody Wonderbus.

Jesus, you could fry a goddamn turkey off of the grease that iPhones collect.